It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize