no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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