I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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