its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
