I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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