Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
