my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
