I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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