After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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