Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
