hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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