Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
