i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
