to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
