went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
do nipples grow back?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize