every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
