Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
