Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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