my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
