sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
