those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
