the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
