Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
