Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
