i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
