also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
