Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Are my feet made of real feet?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
