What did we do last night that was yellow?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize