I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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