it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My vagina is officially offended.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My vagina just clenched in fear
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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