but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
