When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
