My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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