weddingsv make me drug and hornr
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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