to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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