SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
