Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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