I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
