If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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