Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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