it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
