It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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