Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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