Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
