Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
