i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
only if we run a train.
done.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
