If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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