Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
