i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
