nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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