I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
