It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
