I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just puked most of my soul out..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
