Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
