So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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