If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
