so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
