I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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