My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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