he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
