omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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