I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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