You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
